just say it

I hentamed this story cuz I dam bored
read slowly and kill time


so there was this guy
his name was sorry i kinda forgot
he was just another regular guy
charm, wit, looks, all about average
the type who never really cares too much about life
to him his life only carried the purpose of serving others
he was pretty much the blend-into-the-background person
unnoticed
just another person who comes and goes
someone whose existence was hardly acknowledged

he worked an everyday 9 to 5 job at a law firm barely sustaining life
he blamed fate to have doomed him with such a dull life
one that would carry on till his final breath

at night his mind would ponder
searching for past memories
memories once upon a time
times when he had never felt happier
times when no news was bad news
times when no obstacle could shake him
times when the words grief, alone, pain did not exist in his vocab
times when he,
was in love

she was a thing of beauty
the shining sun at the break of dawn
rare and invaluable
whose words were so kind
humble and forgiving
heart-tender. golden
angelic

for him it was love at first sight
they first met at a very young age of 10
from first glance he knew he was looking at someone special
his heart felt an urgent need to befriend her even before he knew her name

the first two months he never had the nerves to face her
he felt outclassed in her presence
as classmates, he thought, was the closest he'd ever get to her
until fate decided to lend a hand to this sorry boy

their teacher came in class one day, grouped everyone in pairs and assigned each pair a project
he was the only one without a partner
coincidentally the girl was absent that very day
to his delight, his teacher paired them together
his face gleamed bright red

their task was easy
all they had to do was plant a tree and take care of it

he was very nervous
it was the first time they were as close to each other
all the while he had only observed her beauty from the other end of the room
he had always admired her looks from afar but when he saw her face up close one word came to mind-magnificent

she was a brunette
straight and shiny hair lightly touching her shoulders
her what you call 'sepet' eyes hid away the dark amber pupils she was gifted with
her nose neither too high nor too low
her lips were thin and dyed in cherry pink
her smile, her smile hinted a glimpse of what us mortals call heaven

everyday he would take her to the roof to water the plant
it was a smell fern tree
he was determined to take care of the plant for it played the part of igniting their friendship
day by day the plant grew and so did their friendship

they'd only just started knowing each other for some weeks but he knew she would forever hold a spot inside his soul

months passed
they became closer and closer
the best of friends
partners in everything
never came a day when he failed to walk her home from school
on fine days they'd walk to the playground and take turns pushing one another on the swing
occasionally they'd stroll the neighborhood on their bicycles

----------------------------------------------------------

months turned in to years
time flew right under their noses
she aged beautifully
they had been friends for nearly 16 years now
their bond was as close as any 2 human beings can be
what started many years ago as a minor crush had now bloomed into love

still
neither side had professed their feelings for the other
every time they met though his face blushed
his heart would pound
his bloodstream races
he would feel so warm and comforted by her presence

they met daily at the park across the street where she lived
flowers he would present to her whenever they went out
the sweetest words he spoke to her
all to make her more in love with him

one day he walked towards the park directly from the office
daisies he brought for her today
her favourite
today after so long he would finally confess his feelings for her
he was dressed in his best apparel
some calvin klein sprayed on
and the red silk tie she gave him upon landing his first job

the park was almost insight
his smile was ear to ear
ready to greet her with a friendly hello

no sign of her yet
maybe she's late
i'll just wait for her

time flew by
soon the evening turned to dusk
he gave her a call
hoping to at least hear her voice
instead the call was redirected to her voice mailbox
i'll just see her tomorrow then
he said disappointingly

tomorrow came
again he waited
still she was absent

his emotions unsettled
he knew something was wrong
she never missed any of their dates
he tried calling her
this time her phone was unreachable
he became more worried

hurriedly he left towards her house
the doorbell rang but the door was kept shut
he took out a set of her spare house keys
she told him to only use it for emergencies
now's an emergency isn't it?

he unlocked the door and called her name
all he could hear was silence
immediately he searched the room for her
to his grief she was found lying on the floor
in front of the stairs
slowly breathing
body temperature searing
desperate to save her , he started wailing for help
shiveringly he dialed the ambulance
his eyes teared

she had fallen down the stairs landed on her chest
the impact had paralyzed her lungs
for five days she lay unconscious
the doctor said she was only surviving on meds and life supports
chances of recovery was slim

her stillness tore his heart like paper
every minute he prayed for her
at night he would sleep with his hand in hers
hoping to wake up to her smile the next morning
to tell her
how much he loved her

she never woke up

-----------------------------------------------------------------

he swore never to love another again



dam freakin lame nak mampos

extreMe paJakness

she jumped out of the airplane
her chute was holy
her descent was immediate
on tree tops she crashed
branches she broke
squirrels she killed(g-naz giller)
oooooooooooooooooooooooooffffff
the ground was solid
cough
some dirt in her throat irritated
stomp
there was a giant mammoth
with spiky porcupine hair
it was shooting a brylcream ad
she walked away from the scene
a skate park she encountered
not people but mutant giant spiders were skating
how clumsy they looked wearing 4 pairs of skates
she walked towards the phone booth to call animal control
she dialled
a tiger picked up and roared
her left ear was now deaf
she saw a house across the river
as she was about to make her way there a fish stuck its head out of the water
it said to get across you must first eat me
she grabbed the little goldfish and savagely chowed it down
then the king of the forest, the Lioness came out of the bushes
how dare you eat my unworthy slave
you shall be sentenced with the heaviest punishment i could possibly come up with
just let me think for a second
why are you punishing me anyway?
it asked to be eaten
well if i asked you to eat me, would you?
that night the whole community had kari kepale singa berbulu

I never fall sick but when I do i'm really sick. eg: today and yesterday

the list of all lists

1. i did my bio hmwrk
2. it's too dark to cycle 2 day
3. i feel so cold
4. i want everything i can't have
5. i'm gonna get a haircut
6. i have stomachache from swallowing all that air when burping this morning
7. i'm gonna fix my bike someday
8. i still reject the idea of owning a phone
9. i need a new pair of drumsticks
10. i need to jam
11. goin to 1 utama this weekend
12. shut up u stupid cat
13. i love apples
14. banana is my secret part time lover
15. don't tell apple bout it kay
16. facebook sucks
17. thanuja sucks
18. i had to say it
19. no offense eh?
20. the haze is returning so is there pj on thursday?
21. the story i'm writing is not finished yet
22. go away
23. you're still here
    
24. ....
25. well i said leave
26. didn't you hear me?
27. turn up you're speaker
28. still nothing?
29. r u deaf?
30. i'm sorry
31. this blog is off limits to the telinga badak ones
32. annoyed now?
33. not yet?
34. what if i tell you i'm watching you right now?
35. yep there
    
36. i see you
37. no you don't have to turn around
38. you won't find whatever you're looking for
39. how's it feel now?
40. i'll tell you a little secret
41. i've been watching
42. you've been a very interesting specimen to observe
43. too bad though
44. i've spotted some defects in you
45. you know what that means
46. your existence no longer serve purpose to anything
47. soon you will be terminated
48. no don't expect the same mercy execution you see in the movies
49. what you'll experience will be much more excruciating
    

kay someone help me finish it cuz i dam lazy

one for you, THANUJA
and the other for you, NAN


happy now?

I live

1. for God
2. for the money
3. by adventuring on my bike
4. to play the drums
5. cuz i was born
6. for the dear people around me
   
7. to correct my wrongs
8. single
   
9. though I don't care at times
10. plugged-in and amplified baby!

how do you live?

a week unblogged

I apologize too..... well..... myself.
I suppose.
For not writing in ages.
Maybe the blog's dying.
Its only being kept alive by life supports and meds the past week.

yeah its sad and pathetic.

shut up!

I know better!

sorry.
just lengthening the post.

An ill wind blew last week.(I'm very aware that it was a long time ago but just let me write will ya?)
I was in rampai beating the drums till the ceiling crashed down(that was so exaggerated).

when we finished, Tengku and I, it was still pouring.
So he started to sing Winds Of Change in hopes the rain would blow another way.
he sang while I drummed to the beat, hitting a stairway handrail with plastic bottles.
Too bad for us it rained heavier.
So we just kept jamming.

then, just when I had lost hope of seeing sunrise the next day thinking the rain would cause a massive flood that would drown me,
As a beam of light from the 7 heavens shone thru the dark clouds shrouding the skies
a cab stopped right in front of us.

I WILL LIVE TO SEE ANOTHER DAY! I SWEAR ITS TRUE!

so I got back to school and whooeeeeeeee did the storm blow hard.
but who cares anyway?(don't wanna explain what happened)

the next week some people came to fix the school roof.
a string of tennis nets were tied together at th3rd floor shards of tiles and whatsoever plummeting to earth.

I was hoping a big piece falls on my head and kills me.
that way i won't have to worry about year end exams anymore.

then suneeta or suweeta or sumeeta, either one, sorry that I'm unsure, came to town.
more to our class la.
we nearly screwed up our bio experiment. pn jun got so angry and started scolding and yelling at everyone.
then she pindah to azam.

then friday night came.
I thought I'd see some familiar faces showing up for tae kwon do but I thought wrong.
hopefully I'll see you at tomorrow's class if you're reading this. you'd better come!

well todey went to pv with skemazillaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(stretch the aaaa till you run out of breath. then continue for 3 consecutive breaths)
he wore all black while I was sporting all white.
Yin and Yang
coolio!

watched stupid transformers after 10 days since the opening day.
pretty lame and sad. I know

I've been hearing these a lot lately
OMG! Megan Foxx so hottttt!
She turned me gay
I wanna b#ng her so hard!!

well what makes you think I care?!

She's not god for me to worship and she lives on the otherside of the world for all I care.

So later on I went out cycling
and totalled my bike
I crashed near wangsa ceria
and home was in Gombak

oh carp

this morning I had a nightmare(wth's it got to do with the storyline?)
I was in bilik probim with some other people
I was joking around with them
we were all laughing till i stretched one too far.
She got really offended and started crying

then she stormed out of class
I chased after her
grabbed her hand and turned her around
tears were rolling down her cheeks

of carp what've I done

I started crying myself and yeah I cry! so what! a guy's a human too!

then I said blah blah blah
she replied, saying blah blah blah

then she spoke some deep words that left me standing frozen
then left me in grief

I woke up and showered

and I miss you I miss you